My landlord, my employee

I am as amazed by the amount of effort we put into creating new devices to make our lives complex, as I am by the number of simple loopholes that exist to resolve them. The red tape that's been on my mind for the past few weeks is called "The Address Proof", and the loophole that extricates one from it is called "The Company Letterhead". Let me elaborate...

The first time I was introduced to the Address Proof was a few years back, when I went to the bank empty-handed (but for a cheque from my previous bank) and asked naïvely to open an account please, and bung my doubloons into it. The banker tried to shoo me away, asking me to return with an Identity Proof, and an Address Proof, since I no longer stayed at the address on the earlier bank's record.

I dug out my drivers license, which the banker accepted as Identity Proof. There remained the question of Address Proof. Did I have electricity bills? (no, not in my name.) Telephone bills? (nope, yet to apply for said telephone.) Credit card statement? (are you kidding?)

My options to open an account seemed to be running out fast. "How about", I offered optimistically, "I write a letter stating that I live at the address mentioned and sign it?" It was a fair shot, thought I, since we were all gentlemen here, and who can doubt a gentleman's word? However, the Banker gave me a slightly queer look, and said that it wouldn't do. "Well, you could send someone over at a random time to look me up there." "Sorry sir, we don't do that", Banker said stiffly. I pursed the lip. Did he want my doubloons or not? That was when he said the magical words: "Perhaps you can get a letter from your company stating that you stay at that address?"

I immediately brightened. Yes, of course, that could be done. How deviously simple, and how convenient! I went to my office, and typed out a letter on my letterhead saying that Shrik indeed stayed at the address below as on date. I signed it, which I was in my full rights to, since I own the company. I then gave it to the Banker, who accepted it without a word, and opened an account for me right away. Leaving me wondering how my signature was phony on plain paper, but on my company's letterhead it became the irrefutable unadulterated truth. And no, they didn't even check to see whether I had a company - the letterhead was proof enough for that.

Cut to the present. Over the past many months, I've been struggling to find a good internet service provider. The firm has long outgrown a dial-up connection, and I've made the rounds of every internet service provider in town (whose names have been changed to protect the innocent.) I started with A, who asked me for such a large bunch of documentation related to my company that I immediately shied away and went to B, who said they didn't offer broadband service in our area. Followed up with C, D and E, who all gave some reason or the other, which ultimately boiled down to the commercial one - the building in which my office is situated is too far from any other customer for laying cables to make business sense. And thus I was stymied.

Enter my colleague KP (The Dynamic). KP had been brought up to question all basic principles, and his never-say-die attitude has extricated us from many a precarious situation, and keeps the firm morale up. He started off by asking why we hadn't taken the service from A. On hearing that A makes it really really difficult for businesses to take connections, he suggested, "Why not take it in an individual's name i.e. our landlord's?" We would then only need to produce an Identity Proof and an Address Proof for our landlord. Brilliant idea!

We made a beeline to our landlord, only to discover that he wasn't actually our landlord. I mean to say, he took the monthly rent cheque and took care of repairs and all that, but he didn't actually own the property - he was just a power of attorney holder. Thus, he could provide an I.P., but no A.P.

At which point of time, we drew upon our rich experience and found a way out. I wrote a letter on the company letterhead stating that my landlord was an employee of the firm, working with me for the past many months, and he stayed at my office address. Which was swallowed whole by A, and we now have broadband at office.

And a new employee, who I hope doesn't come and start sleeping on our couch.